Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Mes modes sont fragiles comme une bulle
Just when you're feeling ok your world collapses.
why? don't know. How? Oh, I know how. Allowed my thoughts to wander. Now I have a ball of unhappiness locked in my stomach. The more the distance the more I allow myself to believe i lost more than I actually did. Rose tinted memory. Desires to hurt, embarrass and expose where there should be love and forgiveness.
Boy do I need some renewing of my mind
why? don't know. How? Oh, I know how. Allowed my thoughts to wander. Now I have a ball of unhappiness locked in my stomach. The more the distance the more I allow myself to believe i lost more than I actually did. Rose tinted memory. Desires to hurt, embarrass and expose where there should be love and forgiveness.
Boy do I need some renewing of my mind
# posted by MattCrossman @ 4:53 AM 
Comments:
<< Home
now then now then, isnt the human a curious thing. Isnt the male human a curious thing. isn't a hurt and confused male human a curious thing. how is possible for five months to have elapsed and things to feel as hard as ever? Am i missing something? Did i not do something right? How is possible to be so convinced that something isn't right yet miss it? Why does life work like that? How can you postumously beleive something that flies in the face of your experience? Jeez i hope i grow up one day. this is rubbish. turning to the wrong places for comfort as God never seems to be the first place I go even though he's the only one who ever actually helps. #
Kollektiv, i need some kollektiv accountabilty from ya'll. I am feeling pissed off at my own weakness to the extent that I'll do anything to massage my ego and pretend liek I've moved on when I haven't. this is not really oving my neighbour as myself. I have just been in a situaiton wheer I loved someone more than they loevd me, and now I'm in the same situation only with the roles reversed. I can't and won't repeat the same mistakes, but bloody hell, its HARD doing the right thing!?!?!
No one ever said worship wasnt costly. I knwo that even in this mess God will do somethign incredible. I'm well looking forward to leading this weekend. the devil tries to do this to me all the time; he reminds me of my hurt and guilt to try and get me looking to thr floor ratehr than gazing in love at the one who holds the whole world in His hands. you knwo what, whenever he does that I just know something's coming that is going to REALLY hack the devil off. last time i felt this bad abotu 50 kids became christians at the mix.
Goodness what a rant. All because i saw an ex artefact. Goodness me. Just goes to show you can shut yourself off form someone, ignore them, engineer your live to avoid them but it doesn't change anything. Love needs to be killed sometimes and this involves not feeding it. the only real way to get over this is start the long hard raod of forgiveness.
12Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
Post a Comment
Kollektiv, i need some kollektiv accountabilty from ya'll. I am feeling pissed off at my own weakness to the extent that I'll do anything to massage my ego and pretend liek I've moved on when I haven't. this is not really oving my neighbour as myself. I have just been in a situaiton wheer I loved someone more than they loevd me, and now I'm in the same situation only with the roles reversed. I can't and won't repeat the same mistakes, but bloody hell, its HARD doing the right thing!?!?!
No one ever said worship wasnt costly. I knwo that even in this mess God will do somethign incredible. I'm well looking forward to leading this weekend. the devil tries to do this to me all the time; he reminds me of my hurt and guilt to try and get me looking to thr floor ratehr than gazing in love at the one who holds the whole world in His hands. you knwo what, whenever he does that I just know something's coming that is going to REALLY hack the devil off. last time i felt this bad abotu 50 kids became christians at the mix.
Goodness what a rant. All because i saw an ex artefact. Goodness me. Just goes to show you can shut yourself off form someone, ignore them, engineer your live to avoid them but it doesn't change anything. Love needs to be killed sometimes and this involves not feeding it. the only real way to get over this is start the long hard raod of forgiveness.
12Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
<< Home
